TheAdinaFactor.com

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” – Mega Jones

“One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young.”- Dorothy Canfield Fisher ?[amen sister]

“How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.”- Anonymous Manufacturer

I think some things are just understood, don’t you??

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
Stephen King

I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
Steven Wright

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
Imelda Marcos

Taken from BrainyQuotes.com

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Need a good laugh?  Go read the funny greeting cards at the store.

I don’t like keeping my house cool in the hot months so I have various activities I’ll do to get out and enjoy the AC someone else is paying for.  I walk the mall, (me who won’t pay mall prices) go to the library, and read the funny greeting cards.

• The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
• The average housefly lives for one month.
• 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year. Don’t ask how

• The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
• Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
• The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it’s head are the rabbit and the parrot.

• Among the music catalogues that Michael Jackson owns the rights to, is the South Carolina State anthem.
• In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
• Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.
• The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

• Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.
• Humphrey Bogart and Princess Diana were seventh cousins.
• If coloring weren’t added to Coca-Cola, it would be green

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

Practice safe eating: always use condiments.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Thanks to jokesgalore.com and their great pun page.

It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now.

I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

All lines taken from the bit of fun site.

Wow there is nothing like having it all come together and fit.  This is a feeling I want to hold onto.  It was at our improv performance  (see us on facebook: Las Vegas Improvisation Players) that the energies were aligned and we did great.   I was very pleased with my contributions.  It doesn’t get better than that.  For more details see my page:  LAUGHTER–A LIFE NECESSITY.

Some of the oils that will help keep us in this mind frame are Joy, Believe, Gratitude, Humility, Dream Catcher, and Live With Passion.

We stop worrying about what people think when we remember they seldom engage in that activity.  UNKNOWN

Make your yearly plans in the spring and your day’s plans early in the morning. CHINESE PROVERB

When we intend to share a smile, see humor in the ‘frustrating’ events and treat every encounter as an opportunity to connect with others nothing will happen. It is when we actually say and /or write down our intentions that miracles come into our lives. When we set our core values we are setting our highest intentions.

Some essential oils that will keep us on track to set intentions so that they can come to fruition are Believe, Magnify Your Purpose, and Highest Potential.

LUCILLE BALL’S philosophy for staying young:  Be honest, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Laughter is the very best face lift.  A good belly laugh changes your internal physiology, instantly adjusts the attitude and increases healing energy.  Our minds, our souls crave  lightness, laughter is the antidote that works.   Set the intent to have a great belly laugh today.