TheAdinaFactor.com

Every second there are 418 Kit Kat fingers eaten in the world   (It is a chocolate coverred wafer candy/cooky bar)

A whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.  ZOUEY  That’s cool.

Crocodiles swallow stones to help them dive deeper.  Humans get fat to  help them float shallower??

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

“They misunderestimated me.”  George W. Bush

Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, THAT’S bad for you. Tommy Smothers

In Florida failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.   [You don't say!!!]

Cow is a Japanese brand of shaving foam.  [No thank you.]

The first alarm clock could only ring at 4 a.m.  [Back to the drawing board.]

[This I can believe.  Especially when they sound like a child howling outside my window.]:   Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

I am not a fan but decided to watch this to see if by chance this comedian did something that was worth my time.  It is remarkable and makes me wonder why so many of these talented people resort to the base and unimaginative in their routines.   Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTayQhIkB58

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” – Mega Jones

“One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young.”- Dorothy Canfield Fisher ?[amen sister]

“How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.”- Anonymous Manufacturer

I think some things are just understood, don’t you??

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
Stephen King

I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
Steven Wright

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
Imelda Marcos

Taken from BrainyQuotes.com

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Need a good laugh?  Go read the funny greeting cards at the store.

I don’t like keeping my house cool in the hot months so I have various activities I’ll do to get out and enjoy the AC someone else is paying for.  I walk the mall, (me who won’t pay mall prices) go to the library, and read the funny greeting cards.

• The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
• The average housefly lives for one month.
• 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year. Don’t ask how

• The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
• Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
• The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it’s head are the rabbit and the parrot.

• Among the music catalogues that Michael Jackson owns the rights to, is the South Carolina State anthem.
• In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
• Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.
• The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

• Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.
• Humphrey Bogart and Princess Diana were seventh cousins.
• If coloring weren’t added to Coca-Cola, it would be green

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

Practice safe eating: always use condiments.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Thanks to jokesgalore.com and their great pun page.

It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now.

I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

All lines taken from the bit of fun site.