Our Time to Embrace the Humor of It All…

Never Going Away

Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw.

Noticing my surprise, the coach said, “That record will stand forever.”

I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, “We stopped holding that event years ago.”

Benchwarmer

It was the first day of basketball practice at Wingate high school in Brooklyn, N.Y. Coach Jack Kaminer handed a ball to each player. “Fellas,” he said, “I want you to practice shooting from the spots you might expect to be in during the game.”

The No. 12 sub immediately sat down on the bench and began arcing the ball toward the basket.

Batter Up

I played for a semipro baseball team. At every game we sold raffle tickets. Half the money paid the team’s expenses and the other half went to the winning ticket holder. One day they held the drawing just as I was stepping up to bat.

The home plate umpire pulled the winning ticket, and then turned to me. “Could you read me the number?” he asked. “My vision’s not too good.”

My favorite latest sports humor catch phrase:  Hell has frozen over. The Cubs won.

 




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