Time for Endorphin Release

The science behind the healing benefits of laughter and the Endorphin connection.

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What are My Options?

Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone.

Me: Siri, call my wife.

Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts.

Me: Samantha Gibbs is my wife.

Siri: I’ve added Samantha Gibbs as your wife.

Me: Call my wife.

Siri: Which wife?     T.  Gibbs, Visalia, California

No—I Prefer to Push

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?”

“Last night at 11:00,” I said.

“And the tires were on it then?”    J. Rice, Englewood, Florida

Taken For a Ride

From a passenger of the Vacaville, California, public bus company:

Dear Sir,
I would like to commend driver Lea ?Schroeder for the following reasons:
1. She frequently doesn’t stop for me when I’m waiting at the bus stop, but she always waves as she goes by.
2. If she’s running behind, she tells me, “Sit your butt down,” in a courteous way.
3. She nearly comes to a complete stop now when I disembark, so I haven’t fallen in almost a week.
4. Although she usually gives me ?wrong instructions on which bus to ?take, I enjoy riding all around Vacaville on the different routes.
5. The way she suddenly starts and stops, rides the rear bumper of the car ahead, and pulls several Gs of force when she turns corners unfailingly ?elevates my heart rate. This has obvious health benefits.

Once again, I would like to commend Lea Schroeder for her outstanding work.

Sincerely yours,
Robert V.       From Lea Schroeder, Vacaville, California, a bus driver with a great sense of humor

Department of Manic Voices

The DMV was as crowded and noisy as ever. When I finally got to the ?window, I asked the clerk, “Does the never-ending line of loud people ever drive you crazy?”
She shook her head. “We call it job security.”   A. Cliburn, Van Nuys, California

Urine Trouble Now

An irate patient called our pathology group, demanding that I explain every lab test on her statement. “Of course,” I said. I brought up her bill: “Number one, urinalysis …”

She interrupted me: “I’m a what?!”    —From gcfl.net




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