True Life Chuckles

Misreading the Signals

My fiancé and I went to a counselor to work on our communication issues. Using herself as an example, the counselor crossed her legs and her arms and exhaled loudly. I was about to say she was showing signs of frustration, but my fiancé beat me to it, yelling, “I’ve got it! You’re constipated!”   Tracy Vance, Ocala, Florida

Misfortune Cookie

After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. Mine read, “Be quiet for a little while.” His read, “Talk while you have a chance.”

Carol Burks, Providence, Rhode Island


Father of The Bribe

When I announced that I was getting married, my excited mother said, “You have to have the rehearsal dinner someplace opulent, where there’s dancing.”       My father, seeing where this was heading, said, “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to elope.”

“And you have to have a breakfast, for the people who are coming from out of town.”

“Two thousand.”

“We’ll need a photographer. Oh, and what colors do you want for the reception?”

“Five thousand!”

We eloped to Spain      Mary Nichols, Arlington, Virginia

High Functioning Adult, eh?

Last week I responded to a text from my friend reminding her that she was dealing with a “high functioning” adult.  You can guess what happened after that; every ‘not so clever’ act I committed in the next 24 hours flashed a ‘High Functioning, eh?” echo in my brain.  My friend chuckled each time I shared these not so brilliant actions with her.  A lesson in humility that I obviously was in need of.


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